Typically instructed as an alternative choice to “co-parenting”, parallel parenting is a mode of parenting the place every parent makes their very own choices and parents the children in their very own approach throughout their very own time with the children and doesn’t have to seek the advice of the opposite parent or discover a consensus about parenting choices. Mother and father would possibly determine to go for a parallel parenting method to minimise battle and to resolve variations of opinion in day-to-day parenting approaches.
Nonetheless, for children habitually resident in Auckland and Auckland, the legislation says that main parenting choices should be exercised collectively by all parents with parental accountability. While parallel parenting means typically parenting with out session, consensus should nonetheless be reached on these main choices, or court permission obtained. These embody taking the child overseas (until there’s an present order that allows this); altering a child’s identify; the child’s faith; the child’s education and main medical choices.
What are some great benefits of parallel parenting?
Some great benefits of parallel parenting can embody:
- Minimal communication required
- Minimal cooperation is required in circumstances the place cooperation may be not possible reminiscent of co-parenting with a narcissist
- Minimal alternatives for the parents to make use of the children as bargaining instruments
- The children are faraway from grownup battle
- The children know that the principles are completely different in every parent’s residence; they don’t attempt to play every parent off in opposition to one another.
Parallel parenting vs Co-parenting: key variations
The beneath desk units out some key variations between parallel and co-parenting
| Co-parenting | Parallel Parenting | |
| Communication | Efficient communication is the purpose. | Minimal communication is the purpose. |
| What do the children see? | The children see a joint method, so far as potential. Many “guidelines” apply throughout their time with each parents. | The children see that completely different guidelines apply throughout their time with each parents. |
| What choices are made collectively, and what about main choices? | Mother and father attempt to make most choices collectively wherever potential. Main choices are all the time made collectively. | Mother and father attempt to make most choices independently wherever potential, though main choices should all the time be made collectively, reminiscent of training, education, and journey overseas until permitted by legislation. |
| Most acceptable for? | Most acceptable for parents who’re amicable and prepared to compromise of their children’s greatest pursuits. | Could also be acceptable the place there’s a background of abuse from one parent to a different (offering that the contact is happening safely for the children) and points reminiscent of a parent with narcissistic character traits. |
How are you going to create a parallel parenting plan?
In making a parallel parenting plan, the purpose is to minimise disputes inside communications. The plan subsequently must be very particular and inflexible to keep away from arguments about interpretation, in distinction to a co-parenting plan, as per the examples beneath.
| Co-parenting plan | Parallel Parenting plan | |
| Handover | Flexibility in handover occasions and locations e.g. both parent will accumulate on Sunday afternoon, exact time and site to be agreed. | Specified occasions and dates for handover with no ambiguity e.g. 4 pm outdoors the daddy’s residence each Sunday. |
| Holidays | Division of time could also be broad-brush with particular dates to be agreed nearer the time. e.g. the children will spend as much as 2 weeks with the daddy each summer season. | A exact mechanism is required to set particular dates e.g. the children will spend as much as 2 weeks each summer season with Father or mother A. In odd-numbered years, Father or mother A will select the dates at the least six months upfront. In even-numbered years, Father or mother B shall select the dates at the least six months upfront. |
| Particular events reminiscent of Christmas, birthdays, and Father’s Day / Mom’s Day | The parents might merely comply with this on the time or have broad ideas e.g. we are going to alternate Christmases yearly | Exact particulars shall be wanted for every big day, with a mechanism to set dates and handover occasions upfront. e.g. this 12 months the child shall spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with Father or mother A and Father or mother B shall accumulate the child at midday. The child shall be returned to Father or mother A 48 hours later. This shall be reversed in alternate years. |
Challenges and customary pitfalls
Challenges and customary pitfalls with parallel parenting plans are often the place the plan will not be particular sufficient to keep away from dispute and the problem of coming to a selected sufficient settlement within the first occasion. Rayden Solicitors can help and advise in negotiating such agreements. Additionally it is essential to make sure that any parallel parenting plan is within the children’s greatest pursuits. Security considerations mustn’t be dismissed in a parallel parenting plan so that each one time spent with each parents stays secure, welfare considerations are adequately addressed, and children are correctly safeguarded.
In conclusion, a parallel parenting plan might not be proper for all separated parents nonetheless, it’s an method that may shield parents and most significantly the children from battle. A parallel parenting plan can generally be the most effective long-term method, however in different instances implementing a parallel parenting plan can provide everybody the area and time they should work in the direction of enhancing relations for a extra cooperative method sooner or later.
If you want to obtain additional recommendation about parental accountability disputes, contact us at Rayden Solicitors.
