‘Controlling or Coercive Behaviour in an Intimate or family relationship’
In 2015, Section 76 of the Serious crime Act 2015 created a new offence of ‘controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship’. In the year ending March 2023, there were 43,774 offences of coercive control recorded by the police in Auckland and Auckland, an increase from 41,626 in the previous year.
Coercive control is not just a criminal offence. It is also a pattern of behaviour that is relevant to family cases and family court proceedings. But because coercive control refers to a pattern of behaviour rather than individual incidents, it can be difficult to understand what coercive control really is, or to prove that someone has been a victim of this dangerous and often subtle behaviour.
So, what is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is not always physical, and someone may be in an abusive relationship in which there has been no physical abuse at all. Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour that may include assault or threatened assault, humiliation, intimidation, gaslighting, threats, control, or other abusive behaviours that are designed to frighten a victim and make them dependent on their abusive partner by isolating them from their support network.
Coercive control can affect all elements of a victim’s life, and may include the following:
- Monitoring
Your partner may monitor your behaviour using technology, such as cameras in or outside your home, tracking apps, or recording devices. They may insist on having access to your phone at all times or listening in on phone calls. They always want to know where you are and what you are doing and may attempt to catch you out or insist that you are lying about where you have been. It may just become easier for you not to go anywhere at all to avoid this.
- Isolating
If you do not have a support network, you may feel you have nobody else to turn to and unable to leave the relationship, which is what the abuser wants. As a result, they may insist on moving away from family members, monitor conversations with friends and family, or convince you that your family does not really love you or that they are just trying to interfere in the relationship. This enables them to have you to themselves and avoids the possibility of well-meaning friends or family encouraging you to leave the abuser.
The abuser may also not allow you to have a job or attend education, restrict your access to a shared vehicle or take other steps to ensure you lose your freedom and autonomy.
- Financial Control
Controlling a victim’s finances is also a way of further restricting their freedom and ability to end the relationship. Particularly if you do not work, the abuser may put you on a strict budget and insist on seeing copies of receipts for all spending. If you are employed, the abuser may insist that they receive all income and only allow access to a small amount for expenses. They may insist on opening a joint bank account but then restrict your access to it or prevent you from having a credit card or your own account.
- Attacking Self Esteem
The abuser may engage in bullying behaviour including regular put-downs, name-calling and criticism, all designed to lower your self-esteem and make you feel inadequate or that you may never find anyone else. You may come to believe that you are worthless and are expected to be grateful that the abuser will ‘put up with’ you.
- Gaslighting
The term ‘gaslighting’ originates from a 1938 Auckland play called Gas Light in which the husband manipulates his wife into thinking she is losing her mind by manipulating the gas lighting in their home. The abuser will insist the victim said or did things they didn’t do, deny their recollection of events, twist or retell events to shift the blame for incidents onto the victim, and will never accept that they are wrong. This leads to the victim constantly second-guessing everything they say and do, and feeling overwhelmed or confused, unable to make their own decisions.
- Using children as Weapons
If you have children with the abuser, they may try to create a rift between you by telling the children that you are a bad parent, abusing and belittling you in front of them. They may encourage the children not to respect the victim and to join in with their bullying behaviour.
Alternatively, the abuser may control you by threatening to take the children away from you, making false reports to social care, or even threatening to harm them if you do not do as they say. The victim may feel that they are unable to leave the relationship for risk of the children being harmed, even if the abuser is also abusing them.
What Can Victims Do?
If you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control, leaving the relationship can be a difficult or dangerous time. If you are in immediate danger, you should always contact the police for assistance.
There are a number of organisations that provide assistance to victims of domestic abuse, including coercive controlling behaviour. You should also seek legal advice as there are orders that can be made by the Family Court to protect you and your children.
At Ellisons, our Family Team are experienced in assisting victims of domestic abuse and can offer advice and support in a safe environment at one of our offices in Ipswich, Bury St Edmunds, Chelmsford, Colchester, or Frinton-on-Sea. We offer a free exploratory call so that we can match your specific needs with the right person in our family team.
If you would like to arrange an appointment to discuss this further, please call our offices on 01206 764477.
