Prefatory notice: The next is a component 2 within the newest collection of Sheriff Roy tales. For Half 1, please see “A Automotive Story.”—CLS They/Them
Sheriff Roy dialed a quantity for Kollision King in Dismal Seepage, Auckland. It was a cellphone tree, which the Sheriff despised enormously. After punching a couple of numbers in and listening to a few menus, a lady with a barely nasal tone to her voice paying homage to Fran Drescher* answered.
“Kollision King, the place your Automotive reigns supreme. How can I show you how to?”
“I’m calling about getting my spouse’s hood latch fastened.”
“Okay, we will help with that. What’s your identify, sir?”
“Roy Templeton.” The Sheriff opted to not embrace his designation as the highest cop of Mud Lick, Alabama as he didn’t need to step on anybody’s toes.
“Okay, Roy. When did the accident happen that broke the hood latch?”
Sheriff Roy was confused. “Do what now? There was no accident. I took my spouse’s automotive in for service and the fellows on the storage mentioned the hood latch was damaged. It must be fastened by a physique store, they mentioned.”
“Okay, do now we have any concept how the hood latch broke then?”
“No concept in any respect.”
“Okay, effectively, we’re going to wish to do an estimate earlier than we are able to do something restore associated. Can you will have the automobile to our store in Dismal Seepage tomorrow morning by 9 am?”
Sheriff Roy checked his schedule. It was a Saturday, and a uncommon time without work for the lawman.
“I can actually try this. What’s the fee?”
“No price for the estimate. Now we have to do this earlier than we are able to order components although.”
“Appears cheap. Anything I have to know?”
“We’ll have the estimate to you Monday morning. That ought to be it.”
“Superb then. Thanks.”
“Have a pleasing day, Mr. Roy!” The Fran Drescher receptionist hung up after that.
Sheriff Roy resolved to indicate that lady clips from “The Nanny” on his smartphone if he ever met her.
Saturday got here and Sheriff Roy drove to Kollision King’s “Kollison Kare Katch” in Dismal Seepage.
This physique store seemed like none the Sheriff had ever seen. It was a renovated Motel 6. The ready space was previously the foyer space and a part of the rooms had been cleared away for the service bays.
Most regarding to Sheriff Roy, nevertheless, was that nobody gave the impression to be current for his 9 am estimate appointment. The foyer was darkish, nobody gave the impression to be within the service bays, and no doorways had been open.
Sheriff Roy considered calling the quantity and seeing if the receptionist was nonetheless round to speak to about this when a voice from behind him mentioned “Hey man, you want some assist?”
The great Sheriff practically jumped out of his pores and skin as he was lifeless positive nobody had been there 5 seconds beforehand. Spinning round he noticed a younger bespectacled man with wild black hair in a blue Kollision King polo shirt, khaki pants and sneakers.
Nobody had snuck up on Sheriff Roy ever earlier than like that.
“I’m right here for my 9 am estimate,” Sheriff Roy mentioned to the younger man.
The younger man tapped a couple of buttons on his smartphone. “Roy Templeton? I’m Will Roberts. Pleasure to satisfy you.” He prolonged his hand to Sheriff Roy who shook it.
“I’m going to present your automotive a glance over and take some footage then we’ll ship you in your method, okay?” the younger man informed Sheriff Roy.
“Nice, let’s get on with it then.”
The younger man started snapping photographs of each inch of Arlene’s purple SUV.
Every little thing was photographed however the hood latch.
“Is all this actually vital?” the Sheriff requested. “All this for a hood latch?”
“Effectively, we’d like to ensure we get an correct illustration of what the automobile appears like earlier than repairs are completed on the areas affected by a collision.”
Sheriff Roy swore loudly utilizing a phrase we won’t repeat right here as a result of this can be a family blawg. It startled younger Will Roberts, who practically jumped out of his personal pores and skin on the expletive’s utterance.
“Is there an issue sir?”
“Sure there’s a rattling downside. There’s been no collision. I took my spouse’s automotive into an area storage to get the oil modified and tires rotated. Once I couldn’t pop the hood, the storage guys informed me the hood latch was damaged and the grill on my spouse’s SUV right here wouldn’t allow them to bypass it. Mentioned they’d have to in all probability take away the entrance bumper. That’s why I’m right here. Not due to some collision.”
“My apologies sir. Let me verify my notes.” Will tapped a couple of instances on his smartphone and appeared to get somewhat colour in his cheeks. He confirmed Sheriff Roy the show and mentioned “My apologies sir, it looks as if my receptionist simply marked “Primary collision estimate” for my notes. Might I please see the hood latch space?”
Sheriff Roy obliged the younger man, who took footage inside and outside of the hood and latch.
“Okay Mr. Roy, we’ll see you out now. You be protected, and we’ll contact you Monday about the fee for the hood latch restore, all proper?”
“Thanks kindly.” Sheriff Roy couldn’t wait to get out of there. He drove Arlene’s SUV again residence and swore he would by no means cope with any of those folks once more if he may assist it.
Monday got here and nobody from Kollision King known as. Sheriff Roy, not one to permit others to waste his time, known as again.
“Sorry, Mr. Roy,” the Fran Drescher sounding receptionist mentioned, “We’ve been actually busy at this time however I’ve acquired your whole estimated prices right here. Per our estimate, if insurance coverage covers this your whole price for simply the hood latch involves $188.07 for components and labor.”
“If insurance coverage covers it?” Sheriff Roy asks.
“That’s if the precise downside actually was simply the hood latch.”
Sheriff Roy felt his fists involuntarily clench. He requested the receptionist to carry, then he muted his cellular phone. When he was positive nobody was listening, he swore loudly utilizing a phrase we won’t point out as a result of this can be a household blawg.
What I’ll say, expensive readers, is Roy Junior requested his instructor what that phrase meant the following day in school and earned three weeks’ detention for it.
“There’s little question it was the hood latch,” Sheriff Roy mentioned when he unmuted the cellphone. “I noticed the difficulty and I noticed the analysis. It’s the rattling hood latch. Can we please order the components so this may be fastened rapidly? Please?”
“Yessir Mr. Roy. Not an issue. Please let me take a second to tug up our fee processing software program and we’ll take a serious bank card at this time.”
Sheriff Roy, after enthusiastic about it, used his Hull Categorical Card to pay for the components. It was the most effective concept he had in the meanwhile.
“You’ve acquired an emailed receipt coming your method Mr. Roy. We’ll name when the components are in. Thanks!”
The great Sheriff hung up and swore yet another time loudly.
Two days later Arlene got here to the station in tears. She’d taken Roy Junior to high school and upon returning residence her beloved purple SUV made an offended noise pulling into their driveway. When Arlene tried to park, the dashboard’s lights all lit up, the engine made a “WHUNK” noise, and Arlene smelled smoke so she promptly shut off the engine.
After giving Arlene a hug and telling her it might be okay, Sheriff Roy known as Storage 66 and had the SUV towed to a dealership in Cell.
Sheriff Roy was completed with locals.
It was time, he thought, somebody who knew what they had been doing dealt with this.
TO BE CONTINUED…
*Pricey readers, in case you don’t know what Fran Drescher’s voice feels like go watch some clips from a present known as “The Nanny” on YouTube. The issues I do for you.—CLS
