The Netflix documentary My Wife, My Abuser offers a harrowing glimpse into the often-hidden world of coercive and controlling behaviour in relationships. Captured on camera, the documentary reveals how abuse can take forms far beyond physical violence, exposing the psychological torment and manipulation that many victims endure behind closed doors.
What is Controlling and Coercive Behaviour?
As ontrolling behaviour involves actions that subordinate or isolate a person, limiting their independence and autonomy. Examples include restricting access to finances, monitoring movements, or controlling social interactions. Coercive behaviour, on the other hand, refers to acts of intimidation, threats, or humiliation designed to instil fear or compliance. These behaviours often intertwine, creating a dynamic in which victims feel trapped and powerless.
The Serious crime Act 2015 marked a significant milestone in addressing this issue. Section 76 of the Act introduced the offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or familial relationship, recognising that abuse is not always physical. For a conviction, the behaviour must have had a “serious effect” on the victim, either causing fear of violence or significantly affecting their day-to-day activities. The perpetrator must also have been aware, or ought to have been aware, of the impact of their behaviour.
The Serious Crime Act 2015 was endorsed in the family Court by Mr Justice Hayden in F v M [2021] EWFC 4.
The Role of Family Law
Family law plays a crucial role in protecting victims of controlling and coercive behaviour, especially during divorce, finances and/or disputes regarding children. The Family Court is increasingly vigilant about recognising these behaviours as forms of domestic abuse, which can influence decisions about parental responsibility and child arrangements.
When controlling and coercive behaviour is alleged, courts may issue non-molestation orders or occupation orders to protect victims. A non-molestation order prohibits the perpetrator from harassing or intimidating the victim, while an occupation order can exclude the abuser from the family home, ensuring the victim’s safety.
In child arrangement proceedings, controlling and coercive behaviour is a key factor in determining the best interests of the child. Under the Children Act 1989, the court must consider any harm a child has suffered or is at risk of suffering. This includes the emotional harm caused by witnessing or being aware of controlling or coercive behaviour within the household. The Court will also look at the impact on the abused parent when considering how to facilitate arrangements for children (if arrangements are considered safe).
Support for Victims
Victims of controlling and coercive behaviour have access to various support systems. Charities like ManKind or Women’s Aid offer practical and emotional support, while organisations such as the National Centre for Domestic Violence assist with obtaining protective orders.
Conclusion
Netflix’s “My Wife, My Abuser” showed how controlling and coercive behaviour is a pervasive form of abuse that has far-reaching implications for victims and their families. Continued awareness, education, and legal reform are essential to ensuring victims receive the justice and support they deserve.
If you or someone you know requires advice on how to protect themselves and/or their children from controlling and coercive behaviour, please contact one of our specialists from the Family Team at Nelsons.
Alexandra is a senior associate in our Family Law team; her expertise includes complex children matters, domestic abuse, and financial matters.
For more information or advice, please call Alexandra or another member of our team in Derby, Leicester, or Nottingham on 0800 024 1976 or contact us via our online form.
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