Getting Information & Documents About Your Child: A Guide for Separated and Divorced Parents

Are you having trouble getting important information about your children from your ex? You are not alone nor should you depend on the other parent to give you information after separation.

Understanding how to access information from third parties, like schools and healthcare providers, is essential for your role as a co-parent after separation or divorce.

Understand Your Rights When It Comes to Parenting After Separation

The below rights apply to your situation unless you have no parenting rights and the other parent was sole parenting or sole parental responsibilities:

• Know Your Legal Standing: Under the family Law Act, if both parents lived with the child after birth, both are recognized as guardians. This means you can request information about your child’s health, education, and welfare from third parties:
  • • 39 of the Family Law Act: if both parents lived with a child after the birth of the child (as well as some other situations), then both parents are guardians.
    • 40 of the Family Law Act: guardians have parental responsibilities, and that unless there is an agreement or order allocating them differently, each child’s guardian can exercise the parental responsibilities in consultation with the child’s other guardians.
    • 41 of the Family Law Act:  parental responsibilities include requesting and receiving from third parties health, education or other information respecting the child.

• Parental Responsibilities: Each guardian can and should consult with the other when making decisions about the child. Knowing this is key to ensuring you stay informed. For more insights on how to share parental responsibilities, check out our article on Parental Responsibilities and Guardianship.

If the Other Parent is Not Providing You with Information

If your ex is no longer passing on information to you, that is (generally) fine.  I would go so far as to say it’s usually good, because you are separated now and it is your opportunity to begin communicating first hand with your children’s caregivers if you haven’t previously been doing so.  What you can do is ask your ex for the contact information for the caregivers, and then begin corresponding with them directly.

If you ex is not even providing the contact information, you may speak to a lawyer to better understand your rights.

Direct Communication with Caregivers

If you require information or documents from caregiver or third parties, do the following:

1. Reach Out: If your ex isn’t sharing updates, connect with your child’s caregivers directly and inform them that you are parent. Most caregivers know that they have a legal obligation to provide you with your child’s information.
2. Request Information: Contact schools, daycare providers, and healthcare professionals to ask for updates about your child’s progress and well-being. You can ask them to put you on their mailing or emailing list so that they update both parents about important information and events.

• Legal Obligation: With some possible limited exceptions (mature minors, in the health care context), these institutions are all obligated to obey the law. And if they are not, orders may be made against them or you may reasonably withdraw any consent to provide services. What responsible adult would send their children into the care of another adult who refused to provide them with any information about what was going on with their child or what services were being provided? Most institutions (schools) and regulated professions (dental care, health care) will understand that they need to comply with the applicable laws in the discharge of their duties.

What to Do If Care Providers Refuse to Share Information About My Child?

If you encounter resistance from caregivers, you can:

• Inform them of their Legal Obligations: unless the other parent has sole parental responsibilities and has asked these institutions not to provide you with information, they are by law obligated to keep you informed and provide you with any and all documents. Be ready to show them any separation agreements or court orders that grant you parental responsibilities. If none exist, then the assumption is that you should both be obtaining the information/documents and the other parent cannot block you.
• Document Your Requests: Keep a record of your attempts to get information. This documentation can be valuable if disputes arise in the future. For tips on how to handle disagreements, read our blog on Resolving Custody Disputes.

When Third Parties Are not Obligated to Provide a Parent with Information about their Child

• Sole Parental Responsibilities:  If your ex has been granted sole parental responsibilities, your access to information may be limited. In this case, continue to request updates and document your communications.
• Mature Minors: If your child is considered a mature minor, they may control who has access to their information. Understand that healthcare providers will need your child’s consent to share information with you.

Practical Strategies for Information Gathering from Third Parties

• Attend Parent-Teacher Conferences: Schedule separate meetings with teachers to discuss your child’s academic progress.
• Request Access to Records: Formally ask for school records or medical documents. This request can often be made via email or through a form on the institution’s website.
• Stay Involved: Ask to be added to mailing lists for school events or extracurricular activities. Staying informed helps you engage actively in your child’s life.

If You are a Primary Parent or a Co-Parent

If you are a parent who has traditionally been the gateway through which information flows, you should be aware that things are changing.  You should not instruct or attempt to instruct a third party to withhold information, because at that point, you become the problem.

You should provide e-mail addresses/phone numbers of the children’s caregivers on request of the other parent. If you are seeking information, as someone who is presumably in a situation where they are demonstrating their ability to care for the child in all aspects, a great place to begin demonstrating this is by demonstrating that you can navigate systems and obtain information concerning your child’s welfare without being totally dependent on your ex for same.

In a nutshell, if you want be treated like a capable co-parent, be sure that you start acting like one.  Likewise, if you want to demonstrate to the court that you are accepting of your ex as a co-parent, you should not actively interfere in that by instructing bodies to withhold information, and you should provide them with the basic tools they need (contact information) to get started on their own journey to establishing their own separate resources of information.

Demonstrate Your Commitment to Co-Parenting

Actively seeking information about your child’s welfare showcases your commitment as a responsible co-parent. This proactive approach can positively influence any legal proceedings regarding custody or parental responsibilities.

Need help navigating these challenges? YLaw is here to assist you! Contact us today for expert legal support and guidance tailored to your situation.

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