Making care and holiday contact arrangements for children over the holidays can be a difficult task for parents who are separated. However, as difficult as it may be, you are better to address it early.
Plan Early for a Stress-Free Holiday
Being proactive about holiday care arrangements ensures everyone knows what to expect, avoiding last-minute confusion.
Follow Existing Parenting Orders or Plans
If you already have a parenting order or parenting plan, stick to its terms unless both parents mutually agree to changes.
If you have an informal arrangement and have not yet made decisions about what will happen over the holiday period, you should start by communicating with the other parent. That way you can try to reach an agreement you are both happy with. This can be done directly, via telephone, through digital communication, or via another family member etc. – whatever works for you.
If direct communication isn’t possible, consider engaging a family lawyer to assist you in negotiations.
Consider What Works Best for Your Family
Every family is different, so there is no “one-size-fits-all” solution. Some parents maintain regular care routines, while others alternate holidays or split significant days like Christmas. When thinking about what will work for your family, it is essential to be realistic. If you live 10 hours apart, splitting Christmas day in half is unlikely to work. Think about the broader picture:
- What traditions do each parent’s wider family have?
- Are there any special gatherings that the children would benefit from being a part of?
- When are you each able to take time off work?
It is important to be child-focused in your decision making. Remember that if the Family Court were asked to decide what should happen, they would aim to make arrangements that best support the child’s welfare and best interests, so that should be your focus also.
Reaching Agreements
If direct discussions don’t lead to an agreement, options include:
- Family Dispute Resolution (FDR): Usually the first step. It allows you to discuss the issues with the help of a trained independent mediator for both parties to reach a solution.
- Negotiation via lawyers: Engaging a lawyer can facilitate discussions if personal negotiations fail.
- Family Court applications: If mediation doesn’t work, applying to the Family Court may be necessary. However, unless urgent, it may be too late to secure a hearing before Christmas.
Note that the Ministry of Justice’s Parenting Through Separation course is often a prerequisite for Family Court applications.
Handling Non-Compliance with Parenting Orders
That depends on what arrangements you have. If you have a parenting order that the other party does not comply with, then you can take steps to enforce it.
- Contact the Police: They may help enforce the order but can’t physically remove a child without a warrant.
- Apply to the Family Court: If non-compliance persists, a warrant application is a last resort.
Keep in mind that it is an offence to intentionally breach, or prevent compliance with, a parenting order without reasonable cause, and you can be criminally charged. The Family Court can modify orders or impose penalties to ensure future compliance including changing or cancelling the order. See Breaches of Parenting Orders for further information.
Urgent Parenting Orders
If you do not already have a parenting order, you may be able to apply for one urgently, “without notice”, depending on the circumstances.
This is where you ask the Court to make an order without the other parent first knowing and being able to have a say. They are usually served with the paperwork after the Court has already made a decision. Given the potential unfairness of this to the other (unheard) parent, they can usually only be made when the delay that would result from making a normal, “on notice” application could result in serious injury, hardship or a risk to someone’s safety.
Access to the Family Court over the holiday period
The Family Court offers a national service for urgent applications during the Christmas and New Year period, except on statutory holidays like Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year’s Day, and January 2nd.
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In summary, early discussions about the holidays will leave you best placed to have a stress-free Christmas. If that is not possible, then getting expert advice and starting the FDR or legal process sooner rather than later should help you reach a solution.
If you have any questions about these issues, please feel free to contact our Wellington and Rotorua based family law experts:
