At family Law Partners we have developed a way of helping divorcing couples sort out their separation together, it’s called Agreeable. Agreeable combines legal and mediation expertise together with therapeutic support. The process involves a specialist family lawyer who is also a trained mediator and a family consultant working as a team with the divorcing couple to find solutions.
This blog provides an insight into Agreeable by taking a look at a recent case of a divorcing couple who used Agreeable.
Case Summary – AGREE: Assemble, Gather, Review, Evaluate, Enable
The divorcing couple were in their 40s. They had been married for 16 years and had 2 young children. They both now wanted different things from life and had different interests, these differences had caused problems in their relationship ultimately resulting in them deciding the marriage had sadly come to an end. They both wanted to deal with matters fairly and amicably particularly for the sake of their children and their ongoing relationship as parents.
Assemble
They each had individual meetings followed by a joint session with our family consultant, to provide them with emotional and practical support to get them prepared to progress matters. Part of this process involved them each providing their ‘Anchor Statement’. The Anchor Statement is an opportunity for the couple at the outset to reflect and share what is important to them, what they are worried about and what they hope to look forward to in the future. The Anchor Statement helps provide some grounding and focus, if discussions get choppy or stormy during the Agreeable process these Anchor Statements can be reviewed to provide stability and focus. The family consultant worked with the couple around how to tell the children about the divorce and assisted the couple to work out the terms of a parenting plan.
Gather
Following the preparatory work with the family consultant the couple then met jointly with their lawyer (who is also a trained mediator) and the family consultant. At this meeting the ground rules for the process were set and the core principles to work with agreed. The parenting plan was reviewed and adjustments that were needed were discussed and worked out together. Consideration was then given to what financial information needed to be provided to ensure full and frank financial disclosure in order to work out the financial matters – this included estate agent market appraisals for their property, mortgage information, pension valuations, bank statements, payslips and P60s. A plan of action and timetable of next steps, including the application for the divorce, was jointly agreed and the next session scheduled to keep momentum going.
Review
Prior to the next joint meeting the financial information was provided, reviewed and analysed. At the next joint meeting with the lawyer and family consultant, the financial information was considered and there was an exploration of outcome options. Discussions were difficult at times, impasse was often being caused as a result of further information being needed to make informed decisions and identifying this helped to keep things moving forwards constructively. Different outcomes were looked at, reality tested and advice given jointly. Emotions started running high, as they so often do during a divorce, with issues being raised over what they each felt they had put into the marriage and differing views on how this should be taken into account. It was important for them to hear each other’s viewpoint, to help process the emotions. Following a further joint session with the family consultant to explore the emotional blockers, at the next joint session with the lawyer present they were able to focus on working out how the finances could be divided in a way to ensure each of their needs and the needs of the children could be met.
Evaluate
The lawyer met with another lawyer at Family Law Partners to provide them with an overview of the case and the outcome reached. This lawyer then drafted the necessary documents needed to convert the outcome into a legally binding order (Consent Order and Form D81). The involvement of the second lawyer ensures the divorcing couple have an extra pair of legal eyes checking over everything for them. Once the documents were drafted they were shared together with advice and an explanation of the terms of the draft documents with the couple in advance of the next joint meeting for review, so there is time to carefully read through and consider everything. There was then a joint meeting with the lawyer and family consultant to go through the documents, check and review of the achievement and signing of documents. There was then a cooling off period before any further steps were taken. During this time the family consultant met with each of the couple individually to check and make sure they were ready to proceed to legally finalise matters.
Enable
The lawyer lodged the necessary documents at court, so they could be approved by the Judge to make the outcome legally binding. The outcome was approved and the couple advised of the next steps to finalise the divorce and implement their financial agreement, assisting them along the way until matters were all completed. The family consultant checked in with each of the divorcing couple after a few months and was pleased to find out that they were each adjusting well and transitioning into the next phase of their lives.
Feedback
At Family Law Partners we follow the Resolution Code of Practice and were one of the earlier adopters of providing the option to divorcing couples to work together with one lawyer. The above case study is just one example of how Agreeable works. The feedback from some of the clients that have used Agreeable over the last few years helps provide a further insight into this way of working:
“The way you have given us room to communicate is rooted in respecting of self and each other. You have given us a template to work with in having a good divorce. Divorcing on the same ticket in which we started our relationship, in love and mind”.
“This was so much easier than I imagined it would be, it really feels as though we have a solid start to our new lives”.
“Thank you for your support in getting us there. It’s taken a while but we seem to have got through without too many fall outs so that is probably an achievement. Anyway, thank you both – we really couldn’t have done it without your help and guidance”.
“I truly believe that using the Agreeable solution allowed us to remain amicable and when either of us tried to force something we wanted, we were supported to bring the conversation back to a balanced and fair level”.
Interested in using Agreeable?
If you would like to find out more about using our one lawyer service, Agreeable, please contact Kim Crewe on 01273 646919 or email [email protected].
Gemma Hope is a Director, Solicitor, Mediator & Collaborative Lawyer in our Brighton team.
