If you are thinking about family mediation, it is important to understand the process and to ensure that you have chosen the most suitable mediator for your family. Here are some key questions to consider asking a potential mediator to help with this decision.
Choosing a mediator
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What is your experience in family law and as a mediator?
It is helpful to understand how much experience your mediator has. Although mediators do not need to have any legal background, at Family Law Partners, all of our mediators are also experienced family lawyers. Legal advice is not given during mediation, but information is provided, and this can include whether or not an agreed outcome is likely to be ratified by a Judge to form a binding consent order. It is worth considering if you would like your mediator to have working legal knowledge and experience as a solicitor as well as having experience as a mediator.
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Are you accredited or certified by any mediation organisation?
All family mediators should have completed a foundation course approved by the Family Mediation Council (FMC). Some mediators will not just complete the foundation, but they will then carry out a significant amount of further study to enable them to accredit with a recommended body such as Resolution. You can find a registered mediator in your local area by checking the FMC website; Find your local mediator – Family Mediation Council . All mediators who are working towards accreditation, or who are already accredited, will be supported by a Professional Practice Consultant who will be an experienced family mediator, and they will need to be up to date with core skills and important areas of training such as safeguarding. All mediators at Family Law Partners are either accredited or are currently working towards accreditation.
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Have you worked with many families in a similar situation to ours?
It is important for you to trust the mediator you are working with, and this is often as much about personality as qualifications. Hearing about other, similar situations they have dealt with and how, should assist you in determining if they are the right person for you and your family to work with.
Understanding the process
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How does the process work from start to finish?
A good family mediator will be more than happy to clearly explain how the process works and the various possible outcomes, along with alternative options if mediation is unsuccessful and breaks down. There is also a wealth of information online, including on our website: Family Mediation Solicitors – Family Law Partners
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What format will the meetings take?
It is always necessary for each potential participant to have an individual meeting with the mediator so that a decision can be reached about whether to proceed with the process. This is known as a Mediation Information Assessment Meeting, or ‘MIAM’. Most mediators offer either a face-to-face appointment or an online video call, depending on preference and convenience. When it comes to the joint meetings, there are a variety of options that most mediators can facilitate. These can include sitting round the together, or in separate rooms (or virtual rooms) with the mediator moving between you. This is known as ‘shuttle mediation’. Hybrid mediation, where your solicitors are present, is another option and frequently, a divorce consultant, coach or other expert such as a financial advisor can be brought into the process. It is a flexible process, and it is important to know how it can be tailored to your circumstances.
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How much does it cost?
Most mediators charge an hourly rate and will be able to give you a clear estimate of costs at the outset, depending on the number of meetings that take place. It is worth bearing in mind that, if you go to a mediator, you will be able to divide that hourly rate between you and the other participant, whereas if you go to solicitors, you will each need to pay your own solicitor’s full hourly rate. Mediation has a high success rate, and it is worth knowing that progress can often be made much more quickly than in Court proceedings or solicitors’ correspondence.
If your mediator is accredited and you have children in your family, it is worth asking the mediator to apply for the Government Voucher scheme which currently provides a one off payment of £500 towards the mediation costs.
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Is the mediation confidential and how do you remain impartial?
It is a crucial to the mediation process that you are satisfied that your mediator is impartial and that they are open to discuss how they will achieve this. They will also talk you through the confidentiality of the process and the limited exceptions to such confidentiality. You should only enter into the process if you fully understand these key principles and how your mediator will interpret them.
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How long does mediation take?
Timescale is important and one of the advantages of mediation is that it is a flexible process and meetings can be arranged when convenient, rather than a Court hearing which will be listed by the Court and frequently involves long delays. It is worth finding out the availability of your mediator and how quickly/frequently they will be able to meet with you both.
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What issues will be covered in the meditation?
The purpose of mediation is broadly to deal with issues associated with family separation, rather than reconciliation which would be better suited to a family therapist. Beyond that, the usual topics that are covered include divorce and/or separation, financial matters and arrangements for any children of the family. If your family has more particular, individual issues you would like to cover, it is worth talking to your mediator about these at an early stage to ensure they can be included in the agenda for discussion.
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If we reach an agreement, will it be legally binding?
Discussions in mediation are, what is known as ‘without prejudice’, meaning that you cannot be held to any agreements reached in the process unless they are then recorded in an order and ratified by a court afterwards. This is an important aspect of the process to enable freedom of discussion without fear of being held to proposals made within mediation and you might want to ask your mediator about what outcome documents they will provide and how best to have any agreements drawn up afterwards that will be binding.
These example questions should give some ideas about how to determine the mediator’s qualifications and suitability, understanding of the process and if the approach will work for your family. To find out more or to speak to a family mediator, contact us.
Alice Scambler is Director, Solicitor, Mediator & Collaborative Lawyer in our Tunbridge Wells office.
